used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that.

All that I want is some sleep. It has gotten to the point where I am just so very cranky. People can speak in the wrong tone and I want to rip them apart, and I have, in my mind. I guess this is what a child feels like after skipping nap time. I need sleep and it just isn’t happening. I need sleep and some sort of comfort. This is the thing that I would like about being in a relationship, the part I miss. Having a body next to me and feeling completely safe and secure. I have not felt that in over a year, I do truly miss it. I guess I just have to suck it up until I have what I am looking for. At least I have my cat. 

sunday. sunday. sunday.

Today was the first day that I had to myself in a while. I didn’t do a damn thing and I am okay with that. Most people would view that as a wasted day but my body and mind needed some time away from everything.

I woke up to my cat digging her claws into my face. My girl is never goes for my face, ever, so this confused me on so many levels. It turns out, she has just as much grace as I do and rolled off the bed… In an attempt to save herself so she latched on to the closest thing to her, my face.

Not soon after that my family paraded into my apartment with all of my spring and summer clothes that I left at my parent’s house. It was nice seeing them, if only for a little while. And yes, I have lived in my apartment for five months now, and I still have a butt ton of crap at their house. For some reason I feel as though by the time I get completely settled in here, I’ll be moving again. This is my life.

The boys all came over today for Anime Sunday. I stayed in my room and played Diablo with the one boy who didn’t show up to the event. Seriously though, I played for eight hours straight. I went from level 15 to 40. I am not terrible at the game and I have a friend to play with, so in my head it is something fun, that is kind of social. At one point I did take a break, only to start up again shortly after. For some reason I just needed to keep busy and absorbed in something, that escape from life, or what have you. I have been playing games nonstop as of late. My mind has been all over the place and it is the only thing that I can seem to focus on. At least I have that. I do feel bad neglecting my other hobbies though. I am sure everything will balance out with time. It always does. Anyway, if anyone is reading this, and you happen to play Diablo, check out the new expansion. It is a lot of fun.

PAX East is in a few days and I feel as though I should be excited for it. For some reason I’m not. Maybe when I get there it will hit me. Or maybe it is just that this week is an emotional hurdle that I have to get through. I know once this weekend passes things will be a bit more smooth. The date of this weekend used to mean something to me, and just like that it has no meaning anymore. I think I am nervous that I will be upset about it. I know myself better than that though. I won’t be. I am a strong woman, I’ll be just fine and I need to stop worrying so much. Worst case scenario I’ll be in good company in a city that I have never been to before… What’s so bad about that? Exactly!

Habits are hard to break, sometimes.

Maybe I’ll elaborate on the undertones of this little rant later on. I am just not in the mood for anything emotional at the moment.. or ever, really.

I am however looking forward to telling you all about my experience in Boston and everything PAX related!

 

Moms

Growing up is an awesome experience to look back on. I have been an “adult” for several years now, though I only recently started to feel like one. 

Whenever I look back to my teenage years I always feel bad for any time that I might have been short with my mother, or any other problems that I might have caused. I mean, I wasn’t that bad of a kid, but teenagers are a mess. I guess they really can’t help it. I could have been a lot worse. 

It is almost as though one day I woke up and just realized what an amazing, strong woman she really is; how hard she works, everything she does for our family, friends, even strangers. When that happened I just did everything in my power to not add any additional stress to her life.

Okay, yeah, I should have helped her clean more, I am not the perfect daughter, but I really do try.  

I never used to think that I was close with my Mom, I am not sure if that is just what I felt, how it really was, or just the time period, but that isn’t the case anymore. I tell my mom everything that is going on in my life… If she wants to hear it or not. Sometimes I probably just talk at her, now that I think about it. We have the same sense of humor too, so I can joke around with her. It is kind of cool because she actually laughs at my jokes. I never knew that she is where I got my sarcasm from because she does it so well, I didn’t even know. 

My mom always wants to help everyone and anyone. I remember when Sandy came through, the neighbors’ house caved in, and she ran outside and tried to get them to come into our house… they didn’t, but I feel like she always does stuff like that. Not only with humans but animals too. I have a vague memory from when I was much younger, of a baby bird falling out of a tree at my grandma’s house and my mom trying to make sure it was okay, and nursing it back to health. She is filled with such compassion, a trait that almost seems nonexistent now a days.

I used to always get embarrassed when I would go places with my mom, not because she was embarrassing, but because she would talk to random people, and I thought that was really weird. Being from Jersey, you know that you don’t say “Hello.” to people when you pass them on the street, yet she would make a new friend anywhere we went. Now I know that my mom is just a happy, friendly person, that wants to share her happiness with the world, trust me, it needs it too.

Even if my mom is unhappy, she would never take it out on anyone. She always finds that silver lining, or makes some sort of joke, so you remember that life is really okay, that it could always be worse, and you really just need to laugh and smile. 

She always tries to see the best in people, and always tried to get me to do the same thing. I think it is finally starting to work. 

Once I realized that I am exactly like my mother, and embraced it, I became much happier. I am happy to have grown up into the person I am today, with the influence of such a wonderful lady. I am finally seeing how wonderful my life is. I was raised with so much love, and I am constantly surrounded by it. That alone is more than I can ever ask for. 

 

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Meanwhile, in Japan: Puzzle game Candy Crush hires girl’s nails as advertising space

Originally posted on RocketNews24:

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Japan knows a thing or two about human billboards. And now, from the PR company that brought the world adverts stuck to girls’ thighs on the condition that the girls wear short skirts and knee-high socks, comes a brand new marketing idea: Candy Crush are sponsoring this girl’s fingernails, with a wacky, candy-based design that’s as bold and colourful as the game itself.

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I am the one who knocks (you out): Street Fighter meets Breaking Bad in genius animation

Originally posted on RocketNews24:

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The only thing we love more than videos about our favourite forms of entertainment are crossover videos that bring them together in one place. Doing precisely that, a talented British animator has just made our Monday that bit more bearable by posting a video titled “Ryu VS Jesse” to YouTube, which combines the worlds of much-loved video game Street Fighter and smash TV show Breaking Bad. And the result is simply awesome.

Full video after the jump.

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Strength.

I am a really strong person. I can handle anything that is thrown at me. It might take a little bit to get there, but the end result is always me growing which is awesome. I’m trying really hard as of to always look on the bright side, to see that silver lining. To try and worry less.
Sitting in the ICU waiting room is a serious test.
We come from a line of strong women. We got this.

My Cat, Pistachios, American Gods, Fire Emblem, Socks and Other Things That Can Be Found In My Bed.

It is night like these where i miss playing WoW with my friends and bullshitting in vent. 

It is amazing how close you can get to people that you have never even met before. I don’t care what you say though. Those are some of the best friends that I have ever made. 

Not only did they help me learn the ropes of the game but they helped me not feel so alone, if only for a few months. 

 

Excited.

I am truly exited about something in the first time in a LONG time. 

My friend and I are going to start a YouTube channel! I don’t even care if it is any good, if people like us, or anything like that. I just think it is going to be a lot of fun to actually spend time with someone that I don’t hate, doing something we both love; making fun of each other and playing video games. 

I ordered a capture card and hope to start testing things out on Sunday.

We didn’t think of a name just yet, or what games we will be playing.. minor details. 

I am really looking forward to this. 

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Sailor Moon fan project releases latest scene preview

Originally posted on RocketNews24:

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The Moon Animate, Make Up! project released a new scene preview for the fan-animated episode of Sailor Moon.

The project will reanimate episode 38 of the first season, “Fractious Friends” and use the English language dub. All animation positions are currently filled but you can apply to be added to the waitlist if a scene opens at moonanimatemakeup@gmail.com.

According to the project organizer Kaitlin Sullivan, the project is on track to be finished by late May or Early June.

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I can’t make you unpack your suitcase.

Originally posted on Hannah Brencher:

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When I unzipped the belly of the little red suitcase the book was sitting there.

It was sitting right on top. It was waiting for me. Two years ago, I used to think that if ever I sat down and finally read that book, it would probably be my favorite book. Maybe one day. Instead, I grabbed a sweater and I closed the suitcase shut. I checked the bag. I would see it in New Orleans. There’s never enough room for your second carry-on bag when they lump you into Zone 3.

Half of my life plays out in airports. The people who spend too much time in airports know I’m not saying that to sound romantic. It can be a tad whimsical. On quiet mornings. And when you aren’t getting a connecting flight in Atlanta. And when you get to fly into cute, little airports with baggage claim…

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